I just read this opinion piece about how fat shaming can literally break your heart. I’m not a surgeon, but I do not think the author understands what the phrase “literally breaking your heart” means. She writes: “When it comes to the way people stigmatize different body shapes and sizes, words can hurt more than just your feelings. New research suggests they may have real health consequences. People who reported feeling diminished by negative stereotypes about their weight were three times more likely to have a heightened risk of diabetes, heart disease and stroke than people with similar weights and mental health who did not feel affected, according to a recent study published in the journal Obesity.”
The study’s lead author, Rebecca Pearl, says that “It is not acceptable to shame others because of their weight,” she continues, “It is important to understand that obesity is not the result of laziness or a lack of individual willpower.” (Well, we will get to my thoughts on that further down.) She also says, quite sensibly in my opinion, that setting specific, achievable, concrete goals to improve health behaviors can also help people be more confident and ignore the negative stereotypes out there.
You’ll notice that the study is funded by Eisai Pharmaceutical Co. Regardless, once again we are told that, as a society, we are to blame for the health of fat people. That when confronted with, as the study calls it, weight bias, fat people self stigmatize because of the people around them. Specifically, according to the study, that the people around them are viewing them as stereotypically lazy, lacking willpower, incompetent, unattractive, and are blaming them for their excess weight. I’m not sure if these fat people have actually interviewed the people around them to come to that conclusion, but I’d place a heavy wager on a resounding no. That’s a WHOLE lotta conjecture on their part. Let’s just suppose for a second, though, that this is true. That everyone around a fat person is denigrating and devaluing them. Forcing society to be nice all the time is never going to happen. Ever. You cannot suddenly make all the people who are supposedly mean to fat people vanish. So, what’s the alternative? I suggest personal accountability.
Lest I be accused of fat shaming, being fataphobic, or unable to understand “the struggle”, I want to make something clear from the get go. I think having a positive body image is something to strive for. However, I will never believe that normalizing an obese, unhealthy body is ultimately going to make anyone feel better. Why would I applaud a very serious medical condition? If we believe in established science, then normalizing fatness is stupid. Vilifying others who point out the fact that fat is bad for you is stupid as well. When I give talks or write about obesity, I am not body shaming. I’m talking medical reality. How many people that are accused of being unsympathetic to obesity are actually just refusing to give in to the delusion that obesity is beautiful or that a surplus of fat is just curvy and bootilicious?
I’m just not going to compromise on this, because I would be a hypocrite. Obesity will put your health at risk. Further, it will put a strain on our already overloaded healthcare system. We’ve been dealing with obesity for decades, and it’s not getting better. I refuse to simply accept that the way to battle this problem is just telling every corpulent person that they are perfect just the way they are. They are not. If someone has an increased risk of depression, anxiety, body dissatisfaction, and low self esteem, perhaps they should stop blaming others for that, and look inwards. Instead of asking others to change to conform to what would make them feel better, perhaps a better choice is to effect change in themselves. It’s character building, or so I’ve heard from Wilson Phillips: “I know there’s pain. Why do you lock yourself up in these chains? No one can change your life except for you.”
I write as a fitness professional, cautioning you that obesity can have a genuine adverse effect on your health. It’s completely preventable, and I think that is where some people can take exception to what I am writing. Not everyone buys into the preventable argument. There’s always those but’s, which is fitting as I deal in butts.
I believe it is because how much we weigh is so often linked to our outward appearance. The fact is that what we look like on the outside should really not be a priority. What should be paramount in our minds is what we look like on the inside, and that’s why I will never be on board with fat acceptance.
When a person is fat, there’s stuff happening to their body that’s not likely to make them jump up and down with happiness, which ironically can be part of the problem, non? There are emotional and mental issues at play, to be sure, but the more immediate concern is the body. The heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, pancreas, colon, joints, skin, brain, gallbladder and urinary bladder are all stressed. Seriously stressed. And we should all be acutely aware of that. I will not sugar coat this. Let me lay down some cold sober facts on the buffet table:

Buffet Fact 1 Deposition of fat around the abdomen is one of the most important factors associating obesity and urinary incontinence. Similarly weight reduction and weight reduction surgeries have shown a beneficial effect on urinary incontinence symptoms.
Buffet Fact 2 One of the major causes among the many risk factors for gallbladder disease is obesity.
Buffet Fact 3 A 2010 study on the brain found cognitive function showed negative associations with obesity on measures. One hypothesis cites the deteriorating white matter that surrounds nerve fibers in the brain, which send signals around the organ. This white matter sheathing has been found more damaged in the brains of the obese.
Buffet Fact 4 Maintaining healthy skin is also more than a cosmetic concern. The outer layers of your skin are the foremost barrier to your bloodstream, which means they also serve as the gatekeeper for infectious agents. What begins as a stretched layer of skin may turn into serious illness, all because the body’s mass outmatched the skin’s elasticity.
Buffet Fact 5 As obesity becomes more prevalent, we continue to see a rise in arthritis. The percentage of arthritis cases linked directly to obesity has risen from 3 percent in 1971 to 18 percent in 2002. A person with obesity is around 60 percent more likely to develop arthritis than someone of normal body weight.
Buffet Fact 6 Researchers haven’t found the connection between obesity and most cancers to be all that strong, except for colon cancer. Among both men and women with obese classifications, colorectal cancers arise with startling frequency.
Buffet Fact 7 Obesity has been considered as a risk factor for pancreatic diseases, including pancreatitis and pancreatic cancer. Severe acute pancreatitis is significantly more frequent in obese patients.
Buffet Fact 8 Obesity and being overweight are risk factors for chronic kidney disease and are associated with the progression of the disease. Metabolic syndrome is also a risk factor.
Buffet Fact 9 In terms of liver-related morbidity and mortality, obesity is even more dangerous than alcohol consumption, a study of more than 100,000 women has shown.
Buffet Fact 10 A study published in 2010 showed large amounts of adipose tissue diminishes the lungs overall capacity for air. This in itself poses significant risk for poor ventilation, which can both exacerbate existing respiratory diseases or produce the same side effects even in the absence of those diseases.
Buffet Fact 11 There’s no two ways about it; the heart feels the greatest effect from obesity. The muscle itself works harder; the risk for blood clots increases; and the resulting blood circulation throughout the body suffers overall.

I’m as happy as a tick at a dog show for anyone who is managing their health and fitness levels. Whether that is eating nutritious food, getting active, or preferably, a combination of both. It gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling, quite similar to viewing a newborn kangaroo.

I believe that our health is worth more than what Social Justice Warriors would like to cram down your throat. Instead of forcing everyone to accept and celebrate obesity, perhaps instead we could all just love ourselves enough to make thoughtful and informed choices about what we put in our piehole.

Maybe we could take some time to include movement in our day to remind ourselves that we are valuable, that our bodies are beyond price, just like in those MasterCard commercials. Our bodies should certainly be looked after and treated well. There is so much in life that we have absolutely no control over, but making the effort to be in control of our weight should be a priority for everyone.
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Gail, that title is freaking awesome. I laughed out loud.
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I crack myself up sometimes….I spend more time picking my titles than I do actually writing the freaking post! LOL!
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Well that was time well spent on that one.
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Awesome post Gail. One thing that always sticks out with the anti-science fat acceptance crowd is their inability to cope with life on life’s terms. For example: “It is important to understand that obesity is not the result of laziness or a lack of individual willpower.”
No $#!+ Sherlock! Obesity is a result of eating too much food.
The point is, certain people, for some nutty reason, often take to making victims of perpetrators. It’s like a reflex reaction to think that way, silly as it may be.
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You hit the nail on the head. I have a feeling that you will NOT be shocked when I tell you that I get arguments all the time from people that their fatness is NOT about eating too much food.
Reason 1,345: It’s thyroid issue. (I pull out my 0.075 mcg of Synthroid prescription and wave it their faces whilst explaining I have been dealing with thyroid disease since 2000 and it doesn’t seem to have affected me because I don’t overeat.)
Reason number 567: I hardly eat anything. (I go carefully over with them what they are actually eating and discover they are ingesting 4000 calories a day and not exercising).
Reason number 67: It’s an emotional disorder. (Gotcha…be emotional, but channel it in a more positive direction, like eating better and moving more)
Bottom line? There are some people who would much prefer to stay in a victim mode, than deal directly with THEIR issues. You being fat and being depressed is not my problem, or fault. When I get accused of just being a big old meanie, I give them my cancer story and how I wanted someone to take away all my scary thoughts, until my psychiatrist told me that this was NOT how the real world works. I had to do the work, not her.
For me, being a victim, even for such a short while, was not the way I wanted to live my life. There are plenty of people, though, who get some kind of payoff for this. As a society, I suggest we stop giving them that payoff.
As always, thanks being a reader.
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You’re awesome Gail.
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Well, clearly I had to approve your comment. 😂😂
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Great post, Gail! I have written about the dangers and damages of obesity, too, but your little buffet facts had details I hadn’t known. You are right about the personal responsibility aspect, too. We are all organic machines and we need to tend to our needs of proper nutrition and exercise or pay the consequences.
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Personal responsibility seems like such a no brainer, right? Maybe it is because we are part of a generation where it would not occur to us to make the world change to fit our needs. I think this may be why I encounter so many unhappy younger people with weight issues. Most often, when I interview them initially, they are blaming others for where they are health and fitness wise. It take s a bit of coaching, but pretty soon most of them have an epiphany. We will never control others and force them to kowtow to our delicate feelings, as much as the left would love to see that happen. The only thing you can control is what you say and do. If we could all concentrate on that, we’d all be better off.
Thanks for reading and commenting!
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I hate to seem prejudiced against millennials as I have a 22 year old daughter, but I agree with you that this seems to be a generational thing. I feel really out of it when I see their social thinking. Talk about a dead end!
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I have a friend who works super hard on her fitness, she never ever comments on other people’s size, lifestyle etc( she’s got a good spiritual program🙂) Yet, she is constantly being judged herself in work..” you’re too skinny( she’s not) What’s that crap you’re eating etc etc..To the point that I would consider bullying, The same people would go screaming to HR if she dared critised them…What do you do???
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First of all, I know I would get along with your friend. Sounds like she keeps her head in the game, concentrates on her health and wellness and clearly has no time to comment on other people’s size, etc.
This is how I always handle these kinds of things. I reply: “Why do you ask?” or a variation thereof. Let me give you an example. If someone told me I was too skinny, I would answer: “Why would you think it is okay to say that to me?” If someone asked me “what’s that crap you’re eating”, I would reply: “Why are you even asking? It’s clear that you think it’s disgusting.” I find that being on the offensive, rather than the defensive, is a better way to deal with these kinds of questions. When you are fully confident in yourself, then you do not have to defend or react to any rude question. By doing this, it actually increases your confidence.
I want to make it clear that the questions your friend receives are completely different from a question like, “wow, you really look lean. How do you do it?” or “What you are eating looks interesting. What is it?”
I would not call this particular behavior from others bullying. It’s rude and intrusive. I’m sure you can tell from my article that I am not a fan of blaming others. We teach people how to treat us. Personally, I like taking care of my own shit. and not asking others to intervene. It’s the only way, for me, to walk through this world. Especially a world where, right now, there are so many people telling us what we should be doing to make others more comfortable with their vices.
Thank you so much for your comments and for following my blog. I’m also glad I found your blog through Jim. xxxx
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And thank you. Yes, you would absolutely get on. Love your blog. Nononsense.com xx
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It’s scary how your posts reflect my thoughts.
I have been hauled up in front of HR for using the words “fat people” in the presence of someone who was morbidly obese. It was a scary experience that made me so much more cynical about people who failed to take personal responsibility for their bodies. At the end of the process I had to write a letter of apology in order to keep my job. What I really wanted to write was “princess, take a spoonful of cement and harden the f**k up”. Sometimes I wish I had.
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We now live in an age where words matter more than actions. Words matter more than character. While I would never condone hurting someone deliberately with word choice, I fail to understand why “fat people” is grounds for you being singled out and forced to pen an apology letter. I wonder if the same thing would have happened if you had uttered the words “skinny people” in front of a skinny person. Now if you had said “fat, ugly, lazy and disgusting people” I would completely understand you being reprimanded and probably fired.
I guess it is because I don’t regard the word “fat” as an expletive. I don’t view it as a negative word. It is just a word. Fat. I need to use it in my job to discuss programs.
It comes down to intent. Take, for example, the quote early on in my article: “It is important to understand that obesity is not the result of laziness or a lack of individual willpower.” As Jim wrote in the comment section: “No $#!+ Sherlock! Obesity is a result of eating too much food.” And that, simply, is what it is.
We need to face facts. We need to stop making things so damned complicated. We need to stop pretending that it is everyone else that is the problem, that if ONLY people would just start accepting that fatness is great. Sorry, this chick ain’t hopping on that stupid train.
I’m never going to make fun of anyone for being fat. That’s not how I roll. But I am damned sure not going to compromise my integrity by pretending that obesity is a normal state for the body. It is not.
As always, thanks for your perspective and your comments. I appreciate you as a reader.
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Gail – another great and candid post! This resonated with me so much! I’m currently still recovering after losing 20 lbs in a course of 3 months …. just because I thought I was fatter than my friends. Looking back, I’m so embarrassed at how shallow I was. Reading your post was such a refreshing read! Can’t wait to read more of these. Have a great week! xoxo, Steph
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Thanks, Stephanie. You should not be embarrassed, and I’m quite sure you are not shallow. You’re doing the best you can, I’m quite sure of it, however I like the fact that YOU are taking responsibility for what YOU decided to do. You learn from life and you move on. At the end of the day, the weight we are, the way we move through this world, the way we treat others, etc. etc. are all OUR choices. We can’t blame others, we cannot control others. Thank you for reading. xxxxx
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Aww Gail, thank you for the sweet words. It is hard to take responsibility of something I decided to do, but doing it allows me to be a better individual as I learn and grow from the experience. That’s what I think it’s so important for me to journal and take time to meditate as that’s only when I get to take some time and reflect on how I’m doing in my social life, school life and health life. Thanks for the sweet comment again and I’m looking forward to more great posts to come!! Xoxo, steph
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Loved this one – I believe if more people actually understood that the crap we put into our mouths (garbage in, garbage out) does nothing but destroy the time they’re trying to save by turning to processed or fast foods we’d see things differently. Your perspective changes entirely once your health is in serious jeopardy. That being said, people are encouraged to eat as a social activity (“you deserve a break today”). We all have choices but I think the next “ban” should be on junk food. The gov’t did a good job raising awareness on smoking (our entire culture has changed, the younger generation was not raised believing smoking is “good” for you based on media messages as ours was). I hear sugar is the next populace habit to squash; a step in the right direction.
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