Today is the one year anniversary of my mums death. Her death was not unexpected, but it was still jarring. My mum died at 1:20 am, and my sisters and I were gathered around her hospital bed when she died. We had all rushed to the hospital the evening of Tuesday the 21st of April so we could be there. I was scheduled to fly out to Nashville, Tennessee to run in the St. Jude Rock ‘n’ Roll half marathon at 5:00 pm that day. Obviously I canceled that. The next two days were filled with organizing her funeral as nothing had been planned prior, despite my mothers assurances that all the funeral arrangements had been taken care of.
My mum knew she was dying. My step-dad knew she was dying. The doctors had told mum there was nothing further that could be done for her. What they could not tell her was exactly when it would happen. I guess it was easier telling us that the funeral had been organized already than actually having to do it. I get it. Organizing your own funeral would be daunting, but at least she could have had what she wanted. I just wish she had been honest with all of us. None of us had any idea of what kind of service she wanted. Because she had told us everything had been arranged, none of us ever thought to ask her. This left us all with a big burden. One I would never, ever leave to my husband’s children.
Anyway, all those memories are now a year old. A lot has happened since then, as those of you that regularly read my blog know. It is an odd day, because even though I mourn my mothers death, it is my step dad’s birthday as well. He turned 80 the day my mum died and two weeks later he was in hospital with a stroke. He is doing well now, though he misses my mother every day and cries a lot. I want to wish him a happy birthday, but I fear it will never be happy for him ever again. I wish it could be.
Anyway, on my Capable Fitness with Gail Facebook page, which you can find here: https://www.facebook.com/capablyfit/ I placed a video I recorded this morning just before 9:00 am. It encapsulates my feelings about today and what I decided to do to start the day off. I invite you to go and view it…..God Bless you all!